It’s one of those lessons, AFTER THE FACT EPIPHANY, like falling down the stairs, getting caught in a out of control rip while surfing, skinned and chafed knees after downhill skating, being around people who don’t share same values/ethics/purpose who appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used in all respects i.e. parent, child, sister/brother, boss, employee and/or husband/wife. These are troubled individuals who are emotionally dysfunctional and no cure has been discovered. However, the new order/world reward these people – due to their ability to abuse/domineer others. We live in a materialistic and consumerist world, the guy who manipulates more and more people is considered a GOOD/RIGHT/EFFECTIVE boss, the women who uses flirting and after hours drinks for PROMOTION/RECOGNITION/PEOPLE PLEASING/VALIDATION is considered a smart professional. There’s a saying narcissist’s have big beach houses, people are there for the WAVES not their PERSONALITY!
Another perspective is that severely narcissistic men and women are so angry about the way someone mistreated them, humiliated them, or subjugated them in the past that they spend the rest of their lives making everyone else pay a price for it. Simply put, they don’t trust others and others don’t trust them.
It’s the second hand smoke of our time – it’s hard to escape it in any domain of relationship in this day and age. The vaccine for this is self awareness and Hansei.
P.S. They come up in all shapes and sizes, all uncurable (for now) and some more shitter than others. A lot of them are aware of their flaws, but keep them as it serves them and some from time to time try to look in the mirror but no one looks back. My favourite type is the covert narcissism, they appear depressed, miserable and put up a great show – with the same self-centerdness, exploitative, empathy impairement and entitelement core as the malignant narcissit. Unlike overt narcissists who often come across as confident and grandiose, covert narcissists tend to be more insecure and self-effacing. Covert narcissists can tend to be shy, but this shyness may come from a quiet sense of superiority, or “secret grandiosity,”.
The best resource on the topic:
https://youtu.be/_uJs0iGQN0M
Sources:
American Journal of Psychiatry – NPD Criteria Checklist
