Self-worth Is Contextual.
High and low self-worth appear different on the surface, but they are two sides of the same counterfeit coin. Because whether you feel as though you’re better than the rest of the world or worse than the rest of the world, the same thing is true: you’re imagining yourself as something special, something separate from the world.
A person who believes he deserves special treatment because of how great he is isn’t so different from someone who believes she deserves special treatment because of how shitty she is. Both are narcissistic. Both think they’re special. Both think the world should make exceptions and cater to their values and feelings over others’.
Narcissists will oscillate between feelings of superiority and inferiority. Either everyone loves them or everyone hates them. EVERYTHING IS AMAZING, or EVERYTHING IS FUCKED.
Mostly, narcissists are unbearable to be around. They make everything about them and demand that people around them do the same.
You’ll see this high/low-self-worth switcheroo everywhere if you keep an eye out for it: mass murderers, dictators, whiny kids, your obnoxious aunt who ruins Christmas every year.
Hitler preached that the world treated Germany so poorly after World War I only because it was afraid of German superiority. And in California recently, one disturbed gunman justified trying to shoot up a sorority house with the fact that while women hooked up with “inferior” men he was forced to remain a virgin.
You can even find it within yourself, if you’re being honest. The more insecure you are about something, the more you’ll fly back and forth between delusional feelings of superiority (“I’m
the best!”) and delusional feelings of inferiority (“I’m garbage!”).
SELF-WORTH IS AN ILLUSION. Ultimately, we must feel something about ourselves in order to feel something about the world, and without those feelings, it’s impossible for us to find hope.
We all possess some degree of narcissism. It’s only natural, then, that our immediate assumption is that we are at the center of everything because we are at the center of everything we experience. That’s why we underestimate the skills and intentions of others and overestimate ourselves; that we have above average intelligence and above average ability for everything especially when they are not and do not!
THIS IS A HUMAN PROBLEM – every individual will blind themselves of their flaws while seeking out the glaring flaws of others. Welcome to EARTH and ENJOY your stay.
But our inherent narcissism comes at a cost. Weather you believe you’re best in the world or you’re the worst in the world, one thing is true: you are separate from the world. And it’s this this separateness that ultimately perpetuates unnecessary suffering.
Exercpt from The Book: Everything is F*cked by Mark Manson
