#36 today – wouldn’t change a thing about it and the best years are yet to come!
Disclaimer: These are all not my words; I’ve tried to list any many sources as I can or remembered. I haven’t accomplished anything notable or created/destroyed companies or cured cancer. By all standards I’m the just an ordinary person with suboptimal intellect, mediocre talent, below average memory but a life-long learner and a divergent thinker with a horses jaw – you can say my greatest achievement is just existing for three decades.
I’ve always been impressed by the ability of people to concisely articulate arguments in a few words. So here’s my poor attempt at it:
1. Life is not a movie; so have a plan for big things or at least for the ones which matter to you. Have an artist’s ambition but an engineer’s mindset.
2. A lot of people don’t get what they want in life, because they don’t know what they want in life.
3. Abilities are not prized by associated virtues. Whatever admiration society awards us comes from the selfish perspectives of others. So something that you are proud of or even most prized achievement – might just be someone’s misconception or a group’s biased opinion on the subject.
4. The purpose of life is not to get what you want or amass wealth – we all know we can’t take it with us. Yet we all go to unimaginable lengths to possess everything – like it’s an unspoken truth, that no one believes the first statement. The most meaningful life purpose is to support those who serve others. This ensures we leave a better world for future generations not just real estate and bank accounts over which they kill each other.
5. People always do and believe what they want to believe – they use culture, tradition, family, religion and whatever else fits in ‘Norms & Morals’ as tools to achieve that, therefore usually by abusing the above listed doctrines.
6. Humans mind once it has adopted an opinion, only seeks to confirm it not to deny it. I’ve been to 23 countries, what is considered ‘Successful & Wealthy’ in one corner of the world – is usually equated to poor man’s definition of wealth/accomplishments in another corner. That’s a feature of the environment, beliefs, family friends and frequently neighbourhoods they grew up in. You travel enough you know all the versions and enables you to define your own. My definition of success is; living your own definition of success – as it’s measured by your internal compass not your surroundings. 
7. I’ve been in relations where I felt for someone and they didn’t feel the same way about me and I’ve been in ones where they feel for me but I didn’t feel anything for them – I’m yet to decide which one is worse – breaking someone’s heart or being heart broken.
8. Labels, Tags, politicians and even personality tests – all try to do one thing at its core – classify you as part of a Group, Segment & Type. I’ve never seen free will being so desperate to get classified into a silo. Humans can be anything that they want, they have the ability to learn, adapt, evolve and change personalities if they become aware. They are not bad, but they aren’t all that good as well i.e. Type 2 Diabetes classification helps you stay alive. Not so sure about ethnic cleansing.
9. Individualism empowers you to achieve your potentials but it weakens your relationships. The concept that whatever you think and do is right for you – will bring you peace at the expense of loneliness. So if you are afraid to be alone or starve for company then perhaps learn to compromise more.
10. Whatever has your attention controls your life. That variance of attention changes over age cycle. It can be studies, marriage, kids, house, job or a LV bag. I’ve stayed awake at night thinking of new gadgets, my parents’ health and even thinking discussion points for meetings that never happened. Imagine how much of your attention is sucked by daily news.
11. Make-up companies want to make you beautiful, Gym plans and fitness good people want you to feel great, clothing companies want to make you feel confident and drug companies want you take as much medicines as you can – Why? Not because they love you or care for you – It is a business. Keep emotions and sentiments away from business decisions. But if it makes you feel wanted or mentally better then don’t whinge if it doesn’t go your way.
12. You will never be happy as long as you seek fulfilment beyond yourself and if you think everything will be fine at the end. We give our lives meaning ourselves, if your life doesn’t have meaning it’s your fault and about the second point there is no end which will be witnessed by you.
13. However, Socrates believed that secret of happiness is not found in seeking more, but developing the capacity to enjoy less.
14. Anxiety or fear of having more fear is like making a repayment on a debt that don’t owe.
15. There are only two ways to learn – 1) Interaction and learning from people who have that acquired skill/knowledge and experience and 2) Books. If you don’t like talking to people so as gospel says – Read.
16. Leadership is the greatest talent on the planet as it unlocks all the other talents. You don’t become a leader by your title, salary, number of years or how many people report to you. The reality is that you have to earn leadership from the people that you’re working with and who are working for you.
17. The world doesn’t owe you anything. “Life isn’t meant to be fair,” – if some people experience more happiness or success than others, that’s just life — it doesn’t mean you’re owed anything if you were dealt a bad hand.
18. Aristotle believed that virtues were like Vitamins. Too little of a virtue is bad, but so is too much. Too little generosity is selfishness; too much generosity becomes self-sacrifice. Too little pride makes us meek; too much leaves us narcissistic. Too little courage makes us cowardly; too much makes us reckless. Life is about balance – so do yoga it helps.
19. Mae West said “You only live once but if you live it right – once is enough”. Nothing has ever more sense to me than this.
20. We are not disturbed by events of life, but due to our judgement about those events. Get fired? Sounds bad. End up with better job? So getting fired was a good thing – should got canned earlier. Control the judgement & reactions and you can master any event in life.
21. My life in explicit terms has been torn between 1) If you want it, then go work hard and get it and 2) If it’s meant to be, it will be. Neither works – it’s the balance between these two which is truly life hack.
22. Travelling is the best investment you can do in yourself – which pays all your life. Be wary there’s more to it than just financial costs – lost family time, out of comfort zone and in foreign lands. I’ve often reminisce wandering on unknown roads in different countries, different continents, different cultures/atmosphere and I’ve never felt more HOME than that – but it goes both ways.
23. Global warming is a scientifically proven fact now. It’s cancer of the earth and sustainable initiatives are the cure – if not ensured then it might be too late. You lose your house – you can buy a new one. Your car gets wrecked – you can buy a new one. You DESTROY the planet, then WHAT?
24. If you turn out to be pretty, people will view you with resentment because everyone assumes that you charm your way through life and are empty-headed parasites. You will not find any sympathy, because everyone knows attractive people have perfect lives. This will result in bitter lonely existence. Conversely, if you turn out to be ugly, everyone will like you because you’re worse-looking than them. However, nobody will love you because you’re worse-looking than them. This will result in bitter lonely existence. our surroundings dictate way much more things in life than what you’ve imagined. People who believe that world and the residents of the world should worship them (as they are pretty, tall, high maintenance or fixated on any other prejudice), for all the right reasons have a bitter lonely existence.
25. Maturity is knowing where not to comment as well. Social media has proven how naïve humans are at that.
26. Life just like investments is not about making several winning decisions. It’s just about not making a few terrible ones (WB). Investing in my limited experience is more art than science. Einstein correctly identified that with – not everything that can be counted, actually counts and not everything which counts, can be counted.
27. We live in weird times, where we are made to believe that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. If you love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. Compassion and conviction are not mutually exclusive.
28. Be wary of sweeping comments i.e. All Women, all Muslims, all Asians, all white people, all blue-collar, all bankers – these are over-generalized statements used to perpetuate discrimination against the subject of the statement (mostly humans).
29. Desperation comes in many forms and shapes. I’ve seen a lot of desperate people in life i.e. for shelter and bread, but I’ve never seen more livid people than the ones which are desperate for attention and/or who crave to live their fantasies.
30. Ditch the Should(s); you should have a degree by 22, you should be married by 25, you should have kids by 30, a house by 35 and retire by 60 – you only live once, don’t waste it. Besides these trends are based over what people did over past 20-30 years, if you don’t do them then future Should(s) be on your terms.
31. Artificial Intelligence is going to change the way we fundamentally look at things. This generally includes a cognition function, some level of consciousness. Imagine beyond combinations of image, speech and pattern recognition and an AI environment where these things are working collectively. Sounds complex? Your Netflix movie suggestions does it. The robots at Tesco/Woolworths read the image code and replenish the supplies for a product. technology is an enabler, not a human replacement. It’ll always be a balance of talent and technology. By like every other man made system, it’s not infallible, technology has its perils and promise and we have to understand it to deal with it.
There’s also a risk of “malicious acts. For example, if a bank implements voice recognition as part of its security system for account holders, an AI system could mimic those voices to gain access to the accounts. Some users have directed AI to “socially engineer people’s behaviours.” For example, bots can post messages on social media to redirect political conversations.
32. Self acceptance can be your biggest survival kit through life. For most of my life to date and as far as I can remember – I’ve been a round peg in a square hole – a misfit. I was a misfit in the country I was born, the people, the family and/or the culture, social control, never understood people’s choices, words, reasons for getting kicks from hating, jealousy, futile pursuit of wealth and everything in between. I knew a lot of people but had few friends, always older than me and to date that’s the case. I have now spent most of life alone, never felt lonely for a day in my life. Trust me it’s hard being a misfit in a world where ‘identical’ is ‘ideal’, constantly told to be a sycophant by arse kissers and be a more open rebel by subversive people. However…this is one of the best gifts you can give yourself in life, You become the person you have always wanted to be, life is about finding a happiness that works for you…never forget who you are, wear it like an armour and it can never be used to hurt you. Your mere existence is an embodiment of uniqueness – a strength and embedded middle finger to these demagogues and people with entitlement issues.
33. There were a couple of critical things that we learnt from this alien invasion (COVID). Here are mine:
- Health is the ONLY wealth. This year has been emblematic for us realising how little we control in this world, mainly, we need GOD (Allah) more than he needs us.
- You only know who you are when everything is taken from you. You are the series of mistakes, that had to happen for you, to find your you.
- Much like the world I discovered that I can be happy and completed with far less (Validated #13 on the list).
- Love is one of the greatest experiences life has to offer. But like every other experience it can be healthy or unhealthy. Because you need more in life than love. Love is great. Love is necessary. Love is beautiful; but love is NOT ENOUGH – there are more sacred callings, valuable pursuits and fundamental needs in life than love.
- I gained more clarity on loneliness and solitude. The latter is being alone in the absence of the former. But the paradox was discovered that only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you. (40 Rules of Love, Shams Tabrizi)
- Last but not the least, I discovered my life’s philosophy, one golden rule to live by etc (Validates #11, #27, #32..). That one rule is deemed to be the base of all unethical behaviour in this world and written by Kant. “Each person must never be treated only as a Means to some other End, but must also be treated as an End themselves” Key issue: What is a “Means” and What is an “End” – it takes introspection to answer this question, as it is dependent on the subject matter/scenario.
34. The only true form of freedom, the only ethical form of freedom, is through self-limitation. It is not the privilege of choosing everything you want in your life, but rather, choosing what you will give up in your life. This is not only real freedom, this is the ‘only’ freedom. That the only things in life of real value and meaning are achieved without conditions, without transactions. The best way to do this is by example, of course, by showing unconditionality by being unconditional yourself. The best way to teach a someone to trust is to trust him. The best way to teach someone to respect is to respect him. The best way to teach someone to love is by loving him. And you don’t force the love or trust or respect on him—after all, that would make those things conditional— you simply give them, understanding that at some point that persons transactional/bargaining will fail and he’ll understand the value of unconditionality when he’s ready. Don’t wish for a better life, BE a better life –Excerpt Mark Manson, Everything is F*cked!
35. The only flaw in this life is to be ignorant of our own flaws. People might be responsible for our unhappiness and damaging us. But, no one has the responsibility & accountability for healing us, our consciousness development and overall life other than ourselves. I say become the parent, friend, partner, boss, employee — that you never had instead of wishing and expecting it – عدنان
36. Believing in yourself is Overrated: Generate daily evidence of who you say you are by – doing what you say and saying what you do. The highest form of success and integrity is aligning actions to your personalised yet virtuous values. It is easier to respect oneself when you have kept commitments to yourself. There is no one to impress, no one to compare, be better for you, live well for you – become the most interesting and remarkable version of yourself and then contribute to others lives to manifest a valued existence – عدنان
Also, some equations that’ve helped me greatly this year:
– HAPPINESS = Reality ➖ expectations. Simple solution Amor fati for a always happy life.
– Exist like drifting cloud or flowing water = Reject + Retains = Nothing!
– ANXIETY = ⬆️ Overestimation of difficulty/challenge ➕ ⬆️ Overestimation of likelihood/occurrence ➕ ⬇️ Underestimation of ability to cope.
– Inferiority Gaps = Cultural Narratives (Love, Gender, Religion, Sex, Marriages etc) ➕ Personal Negative Experiences (Divorce, Non Disney Existence, Religious Extremity, Inequality) manifests ‘Personal Inadequacy‘ which leads to overcompensating and self sabotaging behaviours in all personal, social and familial relationships.
– Vulnerability is not 🙅🏽♀️🚫 when you’re trying to be vulnerable – it’s just another performance behaviour to compensate your inferiority gap.
– Valued Existence = Health✖️ Relationships (Strictly real life ones) ✖️ Freedoms (New Rich: Time X Mobility, Freedom from Rat Race). All the freedom/money under the sky with amazing relationships don’t mean anything if HEALTH = 0. Therefore, Health = Only Wealth.
– Life = Too short to work in toxic workplaces.
– Education + Professional Success DOESN’T guarantee Financial Literacy. 90% population says money is their #️⃣1️⃣FEAR and 70% of divorces in world happen because of money related struggles – yet it’s unsexy to talk about it.
– Rat 🐀🏁 race = Expenses > Pay checks and no ‘Asset Columns’. Rich focus on ASSET columns which grow on their own and produce income. Poor and middle class = Focus on Income/Expenses and buy EMOTIONAL liabilities (Big Homes) which they think are assets. 🆙Emotions = ⬇️Financial IQ. Every time you get💲1️⃣ = you have a chance to be poor, middle class or rich💵, your spending habits reflect that already!
– FINANCIAL IQ = Knowledge of Cashflow/Accounting ➕ Investments ➕ Markets ➕ Law. Money doesn’t solve problems, Intelligence does! But intelligence also brings arrogance, pride, cynicism and laziness. Most so called degree people are one skill away from great wealth – THIS ONE!
– Sympathy🙅🏽♀️= Empathy 🚫= Boundary Violations. Your life isn’t a hotel to host other people’s daemons. Sympathy is short term, short sighted and a easy fix. Sympathy is giving the crying kid whatever he wants, Empathy is letting them cry because you know they will be better off once they understand they can’t always get what they want in life, especially at the expense of others. If that was the case we wouldn’t have the assholes mentioned above.
– Real Healing = ‘NOT’ Bleeding🙅🏽♀️⛔ on people who didn’t cut you.
– The existential inevitable (Pain + Uncertainty and Hard work) are your allies, you need to harness and right size them, it points you to what is important and what has meaning for you. Convert it into healthy and productive actions which leads to valued existence for yourself and people around you!
