Some want to sleep all day in bed, others want to be a Chief Executive Officer (CEO), Celebrity, President, MVP, Entrepreneurs insert latest contemporary socially affluent title of choice. I think we forget that we are the masters of our destiny – the summation of our limited existence, and shouldn’t overly concern ourselves worry about becoming or not becoming Celebrity, CEO, Famous, global, earth shaker etc etc too much.
Because as humans we subconsciously link our self esteem to these things, meaning until the day that External Subjective Uncontrollable (‘ESU’) thing happens, we will be not enough and consequently we will judge ourselves and be unhappy everyday. Despite enough data points and wisdom around us which confirms that the destination is never worth the time and strain it takes of this (external) journey. The journey is the dream because otherwise you go through life as a dead person to live that 3-5 weeks of high after accomplishing the subjective goal. Being human we know that we are complex, self serving, vain, seek validation, have a fetish of playing God (narcissism) with world around us. Funny enough we also carry correcting mechanisms for it such as emotions, empathy, self doubt and consciousness. Every smart person will tell you they have some level of impostor syndrome and it has to be managed.
One of the biggest and slightly latest irony of our time is that we have equated attention to contribution. Just because people follow you or clap for you or take your pictures doesn’t mean they respect you. This is mainly due to the fact we have been brought up to see life as a d*ck-measuring competition in everything and anything. A fundamental human trait of all hunter gatherer societies before us, to rank ourselves with others for status. Like literally everything, people will make covid variants, colour of their stool, colour of their dogs fur in addition to the standard job title, houses, salaries, car, looks of their spouses, family last name, school they went to as a competition to maintain self implied superiority, insinuate self importance and seek validation & praise from others. This again is a core fallacy of human egoic mind and lack of self awareness.
You know the biggest addiction in our age – the relentless pursuit and worship of EXCEPTIONALISM – an ‘ism’, an ideological religion same as capitalism, communism, environmentalism, liberalism, fascism, and libertarianism. In my opinion Exceptionalism is a prison of a special kind: made for people to be prisoners of the attention driven business models (digital age) the same way there were prisoners of factories and modern consulting firm workers (industrial & services age). The difference is now the masters and factories are digital and don’t own anything other than thriving on our insecurities and making us feel inadequate about ourselves so we post more, do desperate shit at the expense of our core priorities, compare more, judge more while work for both masters. This desire for social important and validation comes at the expense of burning out, health, relationships, loss of spirituality, purpose and identity. In case you were feeling bad, don’t democracy also uses us as a social security number & voter count to maintain the interests of lobbying groups – don’t be sad, be better. Everything is an economic function and social media is just the fuel, we’re the imperfect and flawed machinery which makes all of this possible.
The fun fact, when I was growing up there was only one person playing the societal d*ck-measuring competition game of life, the breadwinner of the family (For me my Dad). Now a days, brother, husband & boyfriend is playing the game but chasing unproven enterprises which emerge from the sea, crypto currency advice, about his dope car, chicks, friends, toxic masculinity, mental health for self victimisation, PDA for relationships strength. Similarly, sister, spouse & girlfriend is playing glute, quad to breast ratio display for attention with shrinking by microsecond or hyper visible dresses, Modelling-high life in her bathroom, dancing-semi twerk on TIKTOK, Preaching misandry as constructive feminism, Veganism as a saviour for world to loop in climate change and anything that helps confirmation bias around them being vegan & latest public service of OF (Only Fans) and Mums are competing to share religious content, tips for being better cook, partner, astrology, self serving feminism & mother or how they are the reflection of God because they can reproduce or simply how being Karen’s etc etc.
Pretty much everything for implying self importance, entitlement, feeding toxic self esteem and chronic validation: where the underlying content of charity, kindness, empathy, holier than though is a façade as a means to an selfish end — our human narcissism at work — our need to invent meaning of the world with Ourselves as the Lord & Saviour!
Realistically and heuristically the ONLY metric which truly matters and is deserving of your efforts is ‘becoming better than yourself‘ each day, week, month, & decade, period. It’s the realisation that at times the only way to staying ahead of the curve is to ditch the curve by being curious, adjusting sails of life after changing beliefs & values, being humble and instead of living a life of constantly seeking more (life on a treadmill locked in an elevator and/or rat race) develop the capacity to enjoy less. At the end life becomes an act of letting go, just be kind and lift others by being one who is not in need himself or herself.
The ideal that you're observing that makes jealous and resentful in large part is an illusion, created by your own mind.
My philosophy is that don’t link your self worth with anything other than outside your being i.e. with external things such as title, job, money, wife and kids (their private schools, looks, spouses etc etc). Again, this does not automatically mean that I’m not progressive & ambitious it means I am self aware of the fine line in ambition and vanity or wantonness — one is socially constructive, needed for fulfilment and purpose and the other is destructive when we compromise other core values & virtues such as nonviolence, honesty, and dominate or abuse others for our desires, validation and everything that the egoic mind brings to humanity.
Money, fame and societal importance has no intrinsic value, some of them are is a store & perception of value not value itself — as the things which really matter in life can't be bought with money, power, fame or anything that is transactional in nature i.e. time, love, purpose, faith, health, meaningful relationships, self-esteem and self awareness. Maybe this is my prison, just identifying and countering other prisons, but one thing is a universal fact and it's true for you as well, my biggest asset and enemy is my own mind and so is yours! - Adnan
