“Love isn't something natural to humans. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of one’s own narcissism. It isn't a feeling, it is a practice.” ― Fromm, Eric
Sleeping in the same bed, doesn't make you close to someone. Living in the same house doesn't make you close to someone. The only thing which makes you close is - when you feel you can be open, when you feel seen and heard and understood - Jay Shetty
There is an equation to work out your taxes, superannuation, and car payments – there is no equation for a good, meaningful, and thriving relationships. Well, it’s complicated – kind of, the way most meaningful things in life generally are!
True love is based on CHOICE and not NEED. The issue with people who grew up in conditionally loving families (majority of us), as in who were only appreciated for the benefit they provided (achievements, loyalty, submissive obedience, conflict avoidance) to their parents/immediate circle and internalised that that is the basis for all relationships - benefits received and provided. No matter how you view it, it's the emblem of toxic relationships.
Their pathologies match one another perfectly – ‘The one who demands others should sacrifice themselves for them and a martyr who constantly seeks for a sword to fall on! It’s like a junkie’s hit for another round of cocaine – for these people confusion, mindreading, conflict & dysfunctional attachment equals 'connection' & 'love'
It's one of those lessons, AFTER THE FACT EPIPHANY, like falling down the stairs, getting caught in a out of control rip while surfing, skinned and chafed knees after downhill…
People lack boundaries because they have a high level of neediness (or in psych terms, codependence).People who are needy or codependent have a desperate need for love and affection from…
Embrace your curiosity, uniqueness and the power to shape your own destiny.
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