Someone recently asked me – What is INTIMACY to you?
I feel intimacy was our whole existence before we encountered and unconsciously assimilated Ego, Conditioning, Narrative factory of narcissism, Comparison factory of exceptionalism and Painful experiences leading to emotional mind maps (trauma narratives), coping strategies (self-sabotage), ways to feel safe etc etc…Again an inextricable & somewhat necessary part of going through life.
Consequently, we are always yearning, looking out, feeling there is someone out there, something out there, situations which can liberate us from OURSELVES.
Intimacy is driven from being, identity, adequacy, fulfilment, and self-knowledge. It is knowing you can negotiate contracts, employment, roles, division of labour and commercial functions with people. The things which actually matter in life are by virtue unconditional such as trust, love, respect, empathy and so so. The moment you bargain intimacy you kill its sanctity – as it becomes something transactional, begging for it, cajoling someone for it, something to be chased, reinforces that you lack it in the first place – thereby fuels personal inadequacy & insecurity.
Intimacy is not some jewel that you have to discover under the sea, or a hard journey to prove your worth or people or situations to be your way or as you want them to be. In fact, it is free of becoming, it is finding happiness, seeking love and fulfilment beyond one’s own self/ego. It is knowing nothing REAL can be threatened.
We thrive in intimacy with the formless and pure consciousness (God, Energy, Star dust or Values) and we merely distract ourselves in momentary symptom relief (ego gratification, money, addiction, drugs, sex, popularity and/or, capital-ism) instead of finding meaningful ways to return to the existential state of BEING – consciously assimilating with the formless.
EGO by its very nature creates SEPARATION – it is mind chatter & mental noise disguised in fulfilment. Not just that it needs that to be defended and fed constantly. WATER is Water, it can become Ice, it can become Gas – the ego focuses on separation. It wants you to link your self worth with external things, job, title, materialism, relationships, comparisons, someone clapping for you & world giving you what you want. And anything that it can to keep you away from ‘Watching’ it which allows you to overcome it. The BEING is always there, same as water. We are from love, in love and exist for love…therefore we are love/intimacy.
You forgot that you were intimacy itself and now you are the only thing which stands between it.
I say, every other living being, personal or social, is another portal to the formless – same as yourself. I pray you manifest a reality where you both find intimacy within yourself, through each other. Or at least, as a bare minimum, you are curious and humble enough to find it within yourself to go back to your ACTUAL existence – Adnan
I always realise how much I need to learn as Rumi summed all that in one line
A pen went scribbling along when it tried to write love, it BROKE!
